Xmas with the Relatives

It is late December. In fact, tomorrow is New Year's Eve. And you would think the local Crows were gearing up for a party.

What is all the commotion about? Is it an abundance of tasty garbage put out early by families off to visit relatives? Is it the smell of lots of holiday cooking? Or is it, as I suspect, the run up to mating season?

The Crows are around, and they're scattered all over roof tops. It is not a roost, it's local family in their territory. And they are cawing their brains out. Something damn important is being decided, and I think it must be along the lines of who all is mating, where all nests are to be built, who all is in charge of what, and a whole lot of other deciding and planning.

There is such a ruckus from early morning until early evening that even Fig, who usually stays in bed until 10 or even 11a.m., especially in the cold of winter, is up at bloody 7a.m.!!!! That is still late though because her family is up at 5 or 6a.m. most mornings before the sun. I must have the world's most wonderful neighbors.

It does not even matter if I let Fig sleep inside. She hears the conversation outside, through the lengthy fan ducts, perfectly well, and she feels compelled to join in the political discussions. There are plenty of other times of the year when wild Crows are up early making loads of noise, but this is the only time of year that Fig is excited enough to actually wake up, and emerge from her cozy sleeping box to join in...after only 7 hours of sleep mind you! So this time of year is especially significant in some way, and I have to take measures to ensure that Fig, my family, and neighbors can all get enough sleep.

I have to bring her in, talk to her, and give her some breakfast to get her to quiet down. She soon forgets about the Crows outside and goes back to sleep after a nibble. In fact, she quiets down and forgets them so well, it rather feels like she doesn't much like them, despite the fact that she vigorously converses with them.

Just to test this theory out, I put on my jacket and took out Fig's tethers. She utterly freaked. What??!!! Are you kidding? You are NOT taking me outside today!!! Fig will usually put up a certain amount of objection to going out, especially when it is cold out. But I can usually sway her to change her mind. In fact, changing her mind is a prominent characteristic of her personality. She will usually issue a rejection if I request to do just about anything, which I will accept. Then after a few minutes of thinking it over, she will change her mind and enthusiastically say, Hey, alright, let's do that! But today, there was utterly no hope of changing her mind. I tried hard to convince her that it would be fun to go out and join in, to see everyone, but she was absolutely not going to go to this church potluck.

It seems to me, that she loves  her mother immensely. Her mom is out there two or three blocks away at times, and in all the cacophony, I can pick out the mother's distinct voice, and clearly hear that Fig is holding a conversation mainly with her mother who after three years apart, still has unfaltering devotion to Fig, in fact, I think she may be her favorite kid. Fig is after all, the kid who has stayed at home. The mother is around, chatting with Fig off and on, almost daily, mainly in the mornings and late afternoons. But the thought of going outside, with so many unfamiliar, confident siblings swarming about is just too much for poor, delicate Figgy, the unfortunate runt of the litter. 

It appears that Crows, too, dread holidays with their relatives.

Note: I am guessing that this year is going to be a very serious mating season with loads of offspring. It feels like the year, three years ago when Fig was born. That was another big year with loads of enthusiastic activity. The two years since were very quiet with very few offspring. In fact, this last year, it appeared to me that Fig's mother only manage a single baby, and I think it died, which may explain why the mother has given Fig so much extra attention this year. It appears to me that she is going to nest higher up this year, and close to our building, if not right on top of it again. This will ensure a very noisy fledge in mid May, which ought to be exciting, but it also presents me with the problem of keeping Fig quiet which has not been a problem the last two years as I think Fig's presence caused her mother to choose other more private nest locations the last two seasons, but now the mother seems to have accepted that Fig is simply a person in her neighborhood, in her favorite building, and will nest where she used to, if she so wishes. Well, we'll see. I am planning to replace Fig's fences very soon with new material to help fend off any hormone crazed territory defenders come early March who may be inclined to attack her, and drive her away.

Toilet Training...Accomplished!

Success! I have no idea how it has happened, but Fig is now, for all appearances, cooperatively toilet “trained”. What this means is that she can now sit on my shoulder around the house without having any “accidents”. This is a double achievement on her part.

 

First, she has finally realized that being on my shoulder is safe, whereas before she always wanted to be in my lap. She never poops if I am holding her, or if she is sitting in my lap, even if something really frightens her, because being embraced, or coddled effectively makes her feel protected. So pooping on me is not something she wants to do, it is something that is triggered by fear, and when she is afraid, she may not be able to help herself. Being up on my shoulder in the house, with a cat around, and TV, and unusual noises, and kids, and things, and an environment in which things are constantly changed, moved, different day to day (Crows are hyper aware of small changes in their environment) simply made her too nervous. Now, however, she has made the leap out of her safety blanket space, and into ours. Her space is still somewhere she wants to be, but she now happily spends hours in our space comfortably without the need to sit in my lap and be reassured. Now she sits on my shoulder, and feels safe and comfortable, even if I am sitting down, which puts us much nearer the cat and kids. This is huge leap of confidence, and trust for Fig which I was not expecting her to make so suddenly. The other day, I had two kids in the house, both rowdy, one rather obnoxiously in the face of the poor Crow…but Fig handled it all very calmly, without pooping!

 

Fig is so communicative; you can really understand what she is telling you. I can gesture to her, do you want to come down to my lap, or up to my shoulder, and she can clearly state her wish to move, or not to move.

She has not merely decided that my shoulder is safe, what is going on is much more than this. What she is saying to me is, I will go onto your shoulder, even though it still makes me nervous, because I want to be a big girl. It is exactly the same thing as when parents send their kid to the store, or let them ride around the block on their own for the very first time. The kid is nervous still, maybe even worried, perhaps afraid, but the kid is saying, I am ready to face my fear, and I want to try, in part because they know they must grow up, and in part because they want to please, impress, and receive praise from their parent for their bold achievement. This is exactly what is going on with Fig.

 

Now, getting her shouldered in the house, was easy. She has been able to sit on my shoulder for more than two years now. The issue was that she has been too afraid to not have accidents when up there, or have stress build up to untolerable levels, causing her to act out, and need a break. I suspected I could get her to the point where she would agree not to poop on me though, because she has been accident free when I carry her around town, or sit her on my lap for as long as I can remember. Something about the shoulder was just too insecure though. Now, thank goodness, it is no longer an issue for her, and this means she can spend time with more than one person in the house, she can do dishes with us, she can sit at the table, and she can be a fully active family member.

 

Fig’s second achievement is her toilet training success. She is still dependent on a human to get her to her toileting spot, but now amazingly she has started to notify me when she needs “to go”. This is not merely a litter boxing effect at work; she has decided very clearly, that she is deliberately going to communicate with me because she realizes that is what I want her to do, what I expect from her. It’s a real Eureka moment for her, and for us. She is very clearly telling me, and I mean actually looking me in the eye, and saying in her own words, “Oh, I get it! You want me to tell you when I gotta go! Right, no problem. Don’t worry.”  Again, I find myself trying to explain something very difficult to describe here.

 

Okay, so she is sitting on my shoulder, for example. And I look up at her, and she does her usual look back at me right in the eye, and “gurrs” softly to acknowledge eye contact. And perhaps she wags her tail, or plays with my hair a bit. Or maybe she softly ambles a bit, shifting her weight foot to foot. Or maybe she looks up, then back, or adjusts an eye. There are so many small motions that she does, and they are all telling, all communicative, and no one is enough on its own to be a full sentence. These head tilts, eye winks, foot fidget tapdancing, tail wags, beak lifts, feather ruffles, and utterances are a fluid, contiguous stream which segue into meanings and action based on context. And while I still find myself guessing at a lot of what Fig does or says or does, she has made one thing very clear, she has said to me,  “Okay, I get it. You want me to communicate when I need to go potty. No problem.” And if I ask her, “Do you need to go?” her response is very clearly nuanced as either, “Don’t worry about it.” or “Yeah, maybe I can go.” or “Uh, Matt, I really gotta go. Hurry up!”

 

We have now had four days together in the house, accident free, up on the shoulder. I even stuffed her full of food just to make certain it isn’t a fluke. It is nothing short of a Xmas miracle.

 

Next, I cannot wait to get Fig confident enough to bound about person to person, shoulder to shoulder, socializing as much as she likes, with whoever she fancies, and building her own relationships, and finally, bounding off to the toilet entirely on her own, and hopefully flushing it too.  She already, ironically, goes bounding about in search of the cat although she is terrified of the cat. She intentionally jumps down to get closer to her in certain situations, and when she gets close, she pulls this cat whisperer face and posture which just mesmerizes the cat. Fig deliberately creates situations where the cat is inclined to chase her across the house at high speed. It is seriously as if she is, no joking, training the cat. I mean, as best I can tell, the Crow is in fact, teaching the cat, by play, and repetition, not to attack, to stop short, to pursue to a certain place, then halt on command. She is taking serious risks, and flirting with death, but like a flutist to a king cobra, she appears to be in complete control. It’s madness. Wonderful madness. I even wonder if she might be copying me by expressing approval, and disapproval to the cat. Or teaching the cat the game we usually play at the park where I chase her from point a to point b and back repreatedly. I shall be writing more about this again.

 

I digress. Just to make certain I have accurately recorded this. I did not train Fig to be toilet trained. I simply expressed mild disapproval when appropriate, and she caught on. She has always understood the meaning of poop, it is a word she picked up very early on as a youngster, and on her own has understood very quickly too that I don’t want to pick her up until she poops. She has understood this so well in fact, that I can tell if she wants to be picked up or not, when I approach, by if she poops or not. A poop means, Yep, I am ready to go! Please pick me up!

 

Likewise, I never trained her not to poop when I hold her walking around town. Usually, I just sweep her legs back, and she relaxes and goes to sleep reclined on my arm, either upright, upside down or sideways. She does not mind either way. She simply won’t poop in these positions.

 

Nor did I ever teach her not to poop on my lap. She decided that on her own. She naturally recognizes me and my person, and I guess she either has too much respect, or too much self-consciousness to go in proximity to others.

 

And finally, I have not taught her to inform me when she needs to go to the bathroom if she is on my shoulder, or perched on my arm, or somewhere in the house. I simply told her, Please don't poop, whenever she alighted on me or furniture.

 

The point is very much that I have not taught her anything. Yes.

 

This means several things. It means that Crows have a self awareness, and self-consciousness. They have awareness of others, and respect for them. They have awareness of a common space, and respect for it. But most importantly by far, this means that Fig, that Crows have awareness of the expectations of others, any respect for those expectations. They try to meet others' expectations, because they desire approval and praise. They understand the tone of your voice. They learn your vocabulary, even if they do not manage, or decide to mimick or use it themselves. They learn, just as a human child learns, by listening, observing, and remembering what happens in what context.

 

Everything Fig has achieved as far as toilet training stems from her own abilities to listen, to remember, to understand, percieve situations, and others' wants, and to act to receive positive feedback.

 

BUT Fig does not merely seek to please. She does have her own boundaries. She does want time alone. She does want what she wants, and she does have opinions which need listening to. She is not simply a robot trying to serve a master, not at all.

 

As one example, she recently objects to using the toilet room when I take her to go potty. This is an inconvenient fact that is going to put a bump in the road I have planned to travel towards full, actual toilet training, where she uses a human bathroom, and flushes the toilet on her own. She has an issue with the toilet room. It is a small, typical Japanese toilet room, so she finds it rather claustrophobic. She feels cornered. She has recently told me in no uncertain terms that she will sit on my shoulder without having accidents. But at almost the exact same time, she has decided to tell me that she really is not a fan of the toilet room. Instead she tells me, she would prefer to poop from her usual perch, the one in the “bath” room, not the toilet room, the exact room I am trying, eventually, to extricate her from over time. She has even invented a game, all on her own, which she often does. When she wants to go to the bathroom, she flies to the end of the laundry room, as far from the entrance to the “bath” room as possible. She is saying, You open the bathroom door, and hold up both arms, and I will hop across and into the “bath” room to use the toilet. She is saying, I like this game, and I like going to the bathroom in there, NOT in there. She has figured out a clever way to get two things that she wants, in exchange for doing the one thing that I want. This is how clever these animals are folks.  

 

This little game of hers makes me think again, more deeply, when I am watching the wild Crows in the trees, and on buildings, what significance, what meaning the place they choose to sit has. Sitting in a certain place can be a powerful way to communicate to everyone who can see you, it’s time to head off to the roost, or time to go foraging, etc… That Fig is now doing this behavior with me using place as communication, talking to me from my shoulder, playing with my hair, and other things….are signs that she is freely, naturally communicating. It is exhilarating. It also has me a bit worried, because she seems to be an incredibly capable negotiator. Who knows what she's going to be negotiating next!?

Someone's Still A Tad Camera Shy

Toilet Training

Had a very interesting experience with Fig the other day in regards to potty training.

As I have written, she sits on my lap for extended periods, never going to the bathroom on me, but if she sits on my shoulder she will. Likewise she never goes to the bathroom if I wrap her up in my jacket, or carry her around like a baby, or otherwise constrain her in the way Parrots might more usually be handled, which surprisingly she really enjoys too. I had no idea Crows were cuddly until one came into our lives, either.

Undoubtedly, she won't poop because the closeness creates hightened awareness of my presence, but it also puts her in a physical position in which she would not naturally, usually be when relieving herself, standing up, or close to another being. The third thing, is that she feels safest when I hold her closely, and she likes being held in a warm embrace which reminds her of her mother warmly nestling on her in the nest, so maybe she does not want to ruin the vibe?

Conversely, she poops when she feels insecure, worried, afraid, or vulnerable. One might think that my shoulder would be just the spot to feel safest, and slowly, it is getting to be, but not quite yet. Fig still thinks the cat can jump up on my shoulder. She still feels a little uneasy having more freedom all around the house, too, hence the hazards of letting her perch on my shoulder. But, I carry on letting her perch on me for longer and longer, and she is slowly requesting to sit on me more and more, for longer and longer, and getting better and better at notifying me when she needs to go to the bathroom. But, we are still ironing out the pooping issue somewhat.

She has made it very clear to me that she prefers to poop from her perch rather than using the toilet. This is something we are going to need to talk more about as the idea is eventually to get rid of her "room" entirely, so she would no longer have the perch she prefers for toileting. I have to find someway to make the bathroom a more favorable option.

As I was saying, something interesting happened the other day though. As usual, I was sitting with Fig in my lap. She decided she wanted to venture up on my shoulder. She is quite clear about communicating things like where she would like to be. Really? I complained. She was unusually insistent about it. Okay, I said but don't poop. She does understand the word poop. She will poop on command. In fact, she is so used to this, she usually will not agree to handling until after she has pooped first, as she knows this makes me very happy, and like a real kid, she aims to get praise from her parent.

Now, what happened next is very hard to explain, because I cannot put it into words, so you will have to take me word for it. Fig told me, I promise not to poop. Her communication consists of gutteral errs and gurgles, and gestures, so I can't transpose exactly what she "said", but I could tell she was saying, "I understand, and I promise to be a good girl, if you let me sit up on your shoulder." So, I let her sit up there for a couple of hours, making bathroom breaks when she indicated, and everything went smoothly. Amazing! That has rarely happened before, that we had such a moment of complete understanding, and compliance with my wishes, when she is up on my shoulder. It was a magical, breakthrough moment, sort of like those moments one has with one's children, only way more Dr. Doolittle-esque. Recently, my son, all of his own accord, folded all of his dirty clothes, before taking a shower, and placed them on the washing machine. Crazy, right! It was like this. Kids sometimes, magically, when you are not expecting it, develop and exhibit earth shattering initiative after years and years of constant nagging, just when you've about given up hope. Crows too!

Of course, the very next day, my son's clothes were back, scattered all over the floor of the house. And Fig pooped on me again, apparently forgetting all the success, and progress she'd made the day before. Fortunately, I know it takes time. We'll keep at it.

We really want to get Fig out of her "room" and fully integrated into family life for afternoons and evenings. We've considered a cage. We've considered a perch. But really, the only sensible way to integrate a Crow into a human family is to give that Crow freedom, and independence first. A perch of her own, or a cage would probably allow her to feel safer out in the common areas. But freedom to jump about from person to person is great exercise, and social interaction. Giving a naturally phobic bird like a Crow an "out" so to speak, a safe spot, will likely keep her socially, and physically inactive, forever. So for now, the perch, and the cage are off the table. Fig is going to have to succeed at feeling comfortable on/with people in the common areas first. We are going to "be" the perches. Once she passes this hurdle, she'll get her own cage to retreat to ask she likes.

Communicating with a Crow is not unlike communicating with children. You have to have routines. You have to repeat yourself, without nagging. You have to have clear expectations. And most of all, you must not forget to praise, praise, praise...this is a most powerful tool. And rewards are good too, but nothing trumps praise.


 

On Peanut Butter

Just want to write this down before I forget.

When Fig was younger, I used to give her bread with peanut butter, but I had to be extremely careful to only give her the slightest, thinnest spead peanut butter imaginable because she had a habit of wolfing down bread in big chunks in order to make a dash for her perch with it, and if it had peanut butter on it, the bread would surely lodge in her beak or throat where it would likely cause her to choke to death.

Now-a-days, I am still extremely cautious when I feed Fig peanut butter, but I probably do not need to be. She has long since learned that it is hazardous eating, and she now nibbles away at bread with peanut butter very gingerly out of caution, and sometimes, if the bread is not all that great, all she wants to eat is the good part with the peanut butter on it. It's like she's eating the topping off of pizza. Anyway, there are things like this which I now take for granted, but I never expected to witness Fig learning. It's just entertaining minutia, but it does demonstrate how clever Crows are.

Peas and Corn

My wife was feeding peas and corn to Fig the other day.  Fig loves corn, but she is not a huge fan of peas. In fact to get her to eat them I have to mince them up, and mix them into rice with a bit of fish or chicken.

Anyway, my wife was offering Fig a corn. And Fig would take it, and say thank you.

Then she was offering her a pea, and Fig would stand there, and shake her head, no thanks.

So this was giving my wife a good laugh.

Then my wife started offering Fig a pea in one hand, and a corn in the other with some distance between, and switching hands.

Of course, Fig was choosing the corn every time, and neglecting the peas.

This scientific method game my wife was engaged in is something that just happens naturally when you live with a Crow. One of the many reasons it is fun to have Fig in our family is because she is such a clear communicator, as in this instance.

Another example, is when Fig does not want to do something. For example, if she does not want to watch TV, she will simply refuse to cuddle. She'll jump to a chair, or my shoulder, or my knee, but she will not agree to come in close for sit still, hug time.  I always listen if she expresses for any reason that she is not up for something. It is not a good idea to boss a bird around.

Fig can clearly communicate that she doesn't want, or that she wants, and with pretty exacting specificity. And she can initiate the activity she wants to do, be that a shower together, playing, or cuddling.

Now, our cat will bring a ball, and ask repeatedly to have it tossed. And the cat can ask for food, though not for water. And the cat can initiate intimacy, too, but she doesn't differentiate between talk time, petting, cuddling or a shower (which she would never ask for) with such clarity or success.  So there is simply a higher level of communication going on with the Crow than the kitty, and much of that success lies in the fact that the bird is simply more vocal, more engaged through eye contact all of the time, and generally tuned in to communicating constantly. Predators on the other hand spend most of their time lounging, sunbathing, sleeping, and resting up for their next sprint after the cat bowl.

Don't get me wrong. I love our cat equally as much as the Crow, and the cat is well aware of this. This is why the cat gets jealous if I spend time with the Crow. The Crow, however, never seems to get too jealous if I spend time with the cat. She just looks at me quizically, as if to say, You can't be serious?

All animals express a full range of moods, states of mind, states of being, states of energy, and their desires, and needs; we have only to be better listeners, and better communicators. It is very important to make regular time to touch, play, cuddle, talk, relax, and connect with our animals; doing so benefits us as much, if not more, than them. Our relationships with animals are few, and fleeting since we've come indoors, away from nature. It is natural to have relationships, friendships, connections, conversations, interactions with animals. We have forgotten that to a large extent. This is one of the saddest things about modern times, because once we lose that connection, we lose respect, we lose love, and eventually, we will lose the animals, and then most assuredly our very selves.

Toilet Training

I have read that toilet training a Crow is impossible. But I managed to toilet train a lovebird in the past, so I cannot imagine that toilet training a Crow is going to be harder than that. But actually, I don't have as much time to work with Fig as I did with my lovebird who practically lived on my shoulder. Fig is two and a half now, and is still learning to transition into living more centrally in our house. Change happens very incrementally with her. She spends more and more time on my shoulder as I wander around the house, but she is never there for more than five minutes continuously because she will poop on me if she remains there.

There are a number of reasons for this:

1. The shoulder is not her main perch, so she is still uncertain about it.
2. The house is not her main room, so she is uncertain about being in newer places.
3. She is high, at the hight of her usual perch, so it feels natural to just go.
4. I don't scold her if she goes on me. Instead I praise her for communication, and this approach takes longer, but has much better long term results.

Now, that being said, Fig is now 100% lap trained, and lap potty trained. She never poops on my lap, and she sits to watch TV with us for an hour sometimes without saying she needs a break. On her perch she would never come close to holding a movement for anywhere near that long. And she communicates 100% effectively if she needs to go, when she is in my lap. She nestles in the palm of my hand, and when she needs to go, she simply looks up towards my face, and says, Errr. Then she very obediently waits until she is returned to her main perch to go. Usually, I give her a bathroom break every 15-20 minutes, for her health, but if I don't she can easily go an hour before she will start jumping about like a kindergartener in line for the potty.

The next step is to get her to understand that there is no difference between the lap, and the shoulder by letting her flit from lap to shoulder at will to draw an association, and connection between the two. Already I can see this happening as her shouldered behavior is getting better and better, and accidents are fewer, and fewer. It just takes practice and exposure.

Practice means that Fig must be praised loads and loads for successfully communicating her need to go. And getting her used to the house to a very high degree by walking around, asking her to go to various places to raise her comfort level, praising her for doing so, a lot, and asking if she needs to go to the bathroom. She actually will go to the bathroom on command on her perch or in the bathroom, even trying if she doesn't immediately need to go, so mainly the problem lies in helping her overcome her territorial nerves in spaces that she does not feel are really her spaces to inhabit.

I expect full toilet training to be completed within another six months. She is making very fast strides at communicating these days, and her confidence is way up. I carry her around the house with very high confidence that she won't have any accidents, and I no longer use a bucket in case of accidents because it's not necessary.

Toilet training a bird is not a one way thing. There has to be connection, and two way communication. If the bird poops on you, it is because you failed, not the bird. You did not notice, hear, or see something which you should have recognized, reacted to, and praised to encourage. Birds are not cats and dogs. They usually follow your lead, and if you don't act as a pair, they don't have a functioning partner. You can toilet train them, but you have to at least start by getting them to their preferred toileting place, at first.