The first two years with Fig, I continuously used touch as a means to communicate.
Specifically, touch was the way I permitted her to express her stress level to me. I cannot recall how the technique came about now, but I remember that Fig was extremely high strung, the slightest surprise startling her into a sudden quick duck, or leap. I believe the correct word for this may be flighty. Just a flash of light, an electronic sound, someone walking past could startle her hazardously.
At some point I guess I realized that allowing her to peck my finger intentionally was a good method of stress release for her. It also allowed me, by the strength, or softness of her peck, to gauge her level of stress. Depending on if she grumbled, growled or a whole host of other things, one could really get a significantly accurate read on her mood, or opinion. I gave this finger pecking the name, "kiss kiss" which was also what Fig knew to mean that I would gently hold her beak and give her a kiss on the head. She seemed to quickly understand that "kiss kiss" hand up meant I would kiss her, and "kiss kiss" hooked finger offered meant she could "bite" me. She knew to watch the gesture whenever I said, "kiss kiss" to know if she should expect a kiss from me, or a chance to give feedback to me. Also, I was hoping that the association of my affection offering, "kiss kiss" to her would gradually work around to her peck feedback becoming more affectionate to me; it has.
I think the first year, I could generally manage to kiss her on the head, while gently cradling her head, for about ten seconds, if lucky. Then she lost trust and felt she was being stifled, and she'd abandon ship. I think mostly that while being cradled, she'd start to worry about predators, more than me. She just needs to have a look around. And when she was asked to "kiss" my crooked finger, she intuitively understood that it was an opportunity to communicate her stress level, opinion or offer immediate feedback to me: I liked that, I didn't like that, I'm stressed now, I'm cool, no worries. One very interesting thing about communicating with a Crow in this way is that it's very easy to get feedback about past, present, and future (I'll write more about this another time.)
In the second year, Fig's feedback pecks to my finger gradually toned down more, and more. They were mostly soft, though still indicating some level of anxiety in her sometimes. Generally, affection manifested, but the method remained a crucial stress release, and feedback technique.
In the third year, instead of pecking she would very gently and tenderly, offer a soft delicate touch most of the time. This is also how Fig would say "No thank you" when offered water from a bowl in hand, or "That's enough thank you." With a very tender, soft, brief "embrace" of a finger tip with just the very tip of her beak.
Now, about to start her fourth year alive, she is almost three years old, the kiss on the finger is something she no longer feels a need to do constantly. I only offer her the chance to do so sometimes, after I suspect she may be upset. Or if I have doubt about her feeling on a matter. It has become largely redundant.
If I offer Fig a chance to give stress feedback by pecking my finger now, without clear cause or reason, she usually declines, vocally and facially communicating instead. She literally shakes her head, no, don't sweat it, I'm fine, it's cool, using her voice, eyes, feathers, and body language very effectively.
At some point in her third year, Fig started allowing me to hug and kiss her for, forever. I can now hold her head, press my cheek to hers, or any part of my face just about anywhere and cuddle her warmly and tenderly for long extended embraces. If she startles or withdraws, it is undoubtedly due to some third party stimulus. Fig initiates at least half of our affectionate interactions. She is remarkably affectionate, and sweet. She steps in close on my shoulder, or on her perch, lowers her head, arching her neck, and turns her head to put the top of her head against me. Usually she says, Love you love you love you several times in a row, and grumbles and chatters, gargles, and mimics too. Sometimes she holds my finger in her beak, preens my hair, or clothing. It's all disgustingly too romantic to describe in full, though again, the main goal is her confidence, well being and safety. My intentions are purely to protect Fig who is especially vulnerable to further injury by teaching her to be calm and assured. I watch the dominant territorial female Crows in the forest, and the happy ones are so calm, so placidly relaxed, they look much of the time as though they could collapse from boredom, and that's the goal for Fig. Excitement, and play have their time and place, but my goal is a level surface for her sea of anxieties as her default setting.
Taming Fig is necessary for her own well being, happiness, and safety. And while I have described a mainly calm, cheerful, safe bird, there remains much longterm work still to do. She can still get anxious. She can still get worried, sad, upset. She can still startle, and be injured. I suspect this will always be so, just diminishing over time.
My goals are to continue diminishing these dangers, to build our bond, develop better communication, and see where that leads. Life, love and intellect are deep, intriguing mysteries well worth exploring to the fullest. It is a challenge of patience, dedication and perseverance. It is difficult, but in every respect, raising a Crow is indeed a rewarding, if unusual parenthood.
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